Title: What D’Ye Do With an ‘alo on Earth? / It Sucks To Be Rosewood Glen
Original Song: What Do You Do With a B.A. In English?/It Sucks To Be Me - Avenue Q Cast
Date: April 05th, 2008
I listen to Avenue Q too much. ;o; Maybe I’ll write a comedy/parody musical, purely parodying songs of other musicals, with a very weird, kinda OOC plot. Clavichord first, though.
Princeton - Alice and Kaelyn
Kate - Kaori
Brian - James and Charlotte
Rod - Alida
Nicky - Ki’loh
Christmas Eve - Naoki
Gary Coleman - Guinevere
Daiki - Daiki
WARNING: LANGUAGE!
Kaelyn:
What d’ye do with an ‘alo on Earth,
sure’n, is this what my life was meant t’ be?
An ‘undred years o’ knowledge and plenty o’ sufferin’
‘ave earned me this useless little thing!
I kinna see the ones that I love
’cause we’re all so damn cursed!
An’ Twilight seems an awfully large place…
Yet, still I kinna shake
The feelin’ I’m supposed t’ make
A difference
In this wretched place…
…
[a bright spring break morning...]
Kaori:
Yo, James, Char!
James:
Hi, Kaori-obaa-san.
Charlotte:
Hiiiiii, Miss Kaori!
Kaori:
How you kids doing?
Charlotte:
Don’t ask!
James:
….Eh.
Kaori:
What’s up?
James:
…well, nothing new, that’s for damn sure.
Charlotte:
I’m stuck with this emo pianist who hates me.
James:
[twitches]
Kaori:
Oh, er. Sorry, Char, Jamie.
Charlotte:
Me too!
James:
[laughs scornfully]
Yeh. Me too.
I mean… look at me! I’m only ten years old, and I always thought– … oh…
Charlotte:
… What?
James:
Nothing. It’s bloody stupid.
Kaori:
Aww, come on, kiddo. This is totally off-the-record, non-plot, breaking-of-the-fourth wall insanity! -wraps her arm around James- What’s wrong?
James:
Well…
When I was little,
I thought Tori and I would be…
Charlotte:
What?
James:
Together forever
Like lov–no, that’s not what I mean…
(God, that’s so bloody cliche!)
Brother and sister should be
And as you can see..
We’re not.
Charlotte:
Nope!
James:
Oh, God,
It sucks to be me!
Kaori:
Now there–
James:
It sucks to be me!
Charlotte:
It’s your fault!
James:
It sucks to be completely fucked by Riza who
Threatens to kill my whole, entire family
It sucks to be me!
Charlotte:
…oh.
Well…
My life sucks, too!
James:
Oh?
Kaori:
Now, now–I’ve dealt with Riza before.
(That bitch.)
I’m always working
And pretty damn smart!
James, Charlotte:
You are.
Kaori:
Thanks!
I like brand-new things
Like laptops and nailpolish
But as you know
I have a psychotic partner
So my house is burnt down
On a weekly basis
Fuck!
It sucks to be me!
James:
Me too.
Charlotte:
It sucks to be me!
James:
It sucks to be me!
Charlotte:
It sucks to be Jamie–
James:
…
Kaori:
And Kaori!
James:
To “hate” my family
Kaori:
To live in hell’s flames
James, Kaori, Charlotte:
It sucks to be me!
[Ki'loh and Alida walk by, arguing over something]
Ki’loh:
I do not–
Alida:
Yes, you do, and you know it!
Ki’loh:
Just shut up!
Alida:
Oh, how mature!
Kaori:
Yo! Ki’loh, Alida!
Haven’t seen you two lately.
What’s up?
Ki’loh:
Hi.
Alida:
NOTHING.
Charlotte:
Oh! Hey,
Whose life sucks more -
James’ or Kaori’s?
James:
[DEATH GLARE]
CHARLOTTE!!!
Ki’loh/Alida:
Pfft.
OURS.
Alida:
We’ve always lived together
Ki’loh:
We’re just about as close
As anyone can be
Alida:
We’ve been the closest of friends
Ki’loh:
Ever since the day we met
Alida:
So she knows every
Little tiny way
To make me really upset!
Ki’loh:
[scoffS]
Alida:
Oh, every day is an exasperation
Ki’loh:
Because you’re such an aggravation!
Alida:
You’re always running around town
Ki’loh:
That’s be–
Alida:
Your cigarette smoke lingers in the air
Ki’loh:
Oh, yeah?
You do such ireful things
Like giving me the death stare!
Charlotte:
[snickers]
Alida:
You make that tiny little
Apartment we share
Like hell
Ki’loh:
So do you!
That’s why I’m in hell, too!
Alida:
It sucks to be me!
Ki’loh:
No, it sucks to be me!
Kaori:
It sucks to be me!
James:
It sucks to be me!
All:
Is there anybody here
It doesn’t suck to be?
Daiki:
^-^
All:
…
It sucks to be me!
[Naoki appears out of nowhere, leans against his Portable Wall(TM)]
Naoki:
Why the hell are you all so happy?!
Ki’loh:
Because our lives SUCK.
Naoki:
Hah. Your lives suck?!
Did I hear that correctly? Hah!
I joined up with Morrigan
For more opportunities (to kill!)
But she’s so controlling
She won’t leave me the fuck be!
I have to work hard
Just to prove to her that I’m “worthy”
Or, so she says
And now she’s more forgiving
But she still annoys me
And I have to deal with her
Raping Mira with disregard to me
(and my ears–oh, God, the screams!)
It sucks to be me!
It sucks to be me!
I say it
Sucks-sucks-sucks-sucks-
Sucks-sucks-sucks-sucks-
Sucks-sucks-sucks-sucks-
Sucks-sucks-sucks-sucks-
SUCKS!
It sucks to be me!
[Alice and Kaelyn enter]
Alice:
Excuse me?
Charlotte:
Hey, there.
Kaelyn:
We dinna mean t’ interrupt ye
But we’re lookin’ for someone–
Naoki:
Okay, buy why the hell look HERE?
Alice:
Well, we started at St Ender’s Point
But I guess fate doesn’t like being tempted with
So I thought maybe if I ran into that someone here–
Oh, and look - there’s snowflakes!
James:
You might want to talk to–
Charlotte:
Someone HELPFUL.
I’ll get her!
Kaelyn:
Thank ye kindly!
Charlotte:
[calls out loudly]
HEY, GWENNY!!
Guinevere:
[from a distance]
Oh, give me a moment! Blimey!
[Guinevere runs onto the scene, straightening out her sailor uniform]
Kaelyn:
Oh, my word!
Alice:
It’s Miss Guinevere!!
Guinevere:
Quite right, it’s me!
I’m Guinevere Laramie
From Romsey in England
I took the Titanic’s maiden voyage
That ended in gasps and chokes!
Now I’m dead
And I’m worse off
Than a stupid flippin’ ghost
But I’m here -
The resident British transfer
In Rosewood Glen!
All:
………
It sucks to be you!
James:
You win.
All:
It sucks to be you!
Kaori:
I feel better now…
Guinevere:
Try losing the love of your life
For centuries and all of eternity!
Quoth the Raven, ‘Nevermore’!
…
It gets old.
Chorus:
It sucks to be them
In Rosewood Glen
Alida:
Sucks to be me!
Chorus:
In Rosewood Glen
Kaori:
Sucks to be you!
Chorus:
In Rosewood Glen
All:
Sucks to be us!
But not when we’re together
Naoki:
…What?!
All:
We’re together
Here in Rosewood Glen!
James:
Wait, who wrote THIS?
Daiki:
^-^
All:
We live in Rosewood Glen!
Our friends do, too!
Charlotte:
-groan- Oh my–
All:
‘Til our dreams come true,
We live in Rosewood Glen!
Kaelyn:
Aye, sadly…
All:
We live in Rosewood Glen!
Ki’loh:
You grow to love it!
All:
We live in Rosewood Glen!
Guinevere:
It’s sad and true.
All:
We live in Rosewood Glen!
Daiki:
^-^
Alice:
[long sigh]
